September Horoscopes, Burlesque Bitch

Aries (March 21-April 20)
New status update for this month: It’s Complicated. Lusty Mars aligns with stern Saturn in Scorpio and your erotic eighth house. You’re feeling major chemistry with someone, but rushing to the bedroom could bring regrets. Think beyond the moment, Aries—will other people be upset or adversely affected by this choice? Then again, Saturn’s gravitas can help you turn a sultry fling into the real thing. Be honest with yourself: do you want more from a relationship?

Taurus (April 21-May 21)
This month, a relationship feels very “two steps forward, one step back.” Excitable Mars and take-it-slow Saturn meet in Scorpio and your seventh house of partnerships, bringing a complicated mix of feelings.  As eager as you are to move ahead, part of you feels hesitant. Are you talking yourself out of a good thing? While no relationship is perfect, drafting a basic pros and cons list can be helpful in seeing the big picture.

Gemini (May 23-June 20)
Don’t overdo it, Gemini! With excitable Mars in Scorpio and your sixth house of healthy living, part of you feels like you could scale a mountain or squat twenty extra pounds of weight at the gym. But taskmaster Saturn enters the frame too, lining up to the same degree of Scorpio as Mars. Measured progress is the way to go. You don’t want to wind up with an injury or depleting your energy reserves. The same goes for work. Before you volunteer to take on a new assignment, get a clear picture of what this really entails.

Cancer (June 21-July 20)
An undercurrent of competition seeps in this month causing you to amp up your personality and vie for the spotlight. Blame it on rash Mars and ambitious Saturn, both lined up at the same degree of Scorpio in your fifth house of fame. If you have to work that hard to get noticed, you might have the wrong audience, Cancer. Romantically, the Mars-Saturn merger could make you run hot and cold. Be careful not to send mixed signals though. Don’t commit to a person or plan until you feel more clarity.

Leo (July 21-August 22)
Something about your environment could really bug you, Leo, but it will also be hard to put your finger on what that is. Hotheaded Mars and slow-moving Saturn are awkwardly aligned in your zone of home and family all day. A change is definitely in order, but don’t go swinging sledgehammers or making dramatic phone calls in the heat of the moment. Work from a plan, and call in the experts for their wisdom too. From architects to decorators to a family counselor, you want to make sure any changes you initiate produce positive results.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)
There’s a time to be cooperative and a time to go your separate ways—at least for a little while. An awkward alignment of rash Mars and stubborn Saturn could find you butting heads with the people you’re closest too—friends, siblings, neighbors, coworkers. If you bend to keep things pleasant, you’ll wind up pissed off and resentful later on. Best bet: agree to disagree and take a time out. A little time and space will do both of you good.

Libra (September 23-October 22)
Frugal or fruitful? Tightwad Saturn and adventurous Mars align in Scorpio and your money house—a cosmic odd couple indeed. On the one hand, you’d be wise to count your pennies and think purchases over carefully. But are you being cheap with yourself and others? It takes money to make money, so don’t over-think an investment experience like a workshop or equipment that can help you increase your income in the future.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
You want to be seen as powerful, capable and in command—and who can blame you Scorpio? A meetup of fierce Mars and stalwart Saturn makes you a force to be reckoned with. But be careful: this cosmic energy could also cause you to come across as heavy-handed, or borderline “military dictator” if you really get carried away. Leaders lead, but if you want the troops to follow you willingly, make sure you listen to them too.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 20) 
Wake up! And watch where you’re going, Sagittarius. With buzzy Mars and plodding Saturn aligned in your foggy twelfth house, you need to stay alert. Don’t walk and text or you could faceplant; and pull over if you need to fiddle with your GPS. Better to be safe than sorry—you know you can be clumsy even when you are paying attention. On a positive note, this Mars-Saturn combo could bring a powerful mentor into your world, so don’t be shy if this impresario offers a hand.

Capricorn (December 21-January 20)
A group you meet this month could really enchant you, Capricorn, but don’t rush to join their entourage. Impatient Mars and take-it-slow Saturn (your ruling planet) are lined up in Scorpio making it hard to get a clear read on anyone. By the same token, don’t stall for too long either. If you keep showing up at events with another crowd,—and enjoying yourself thoroughly to boot—this could be the day where you finally take the plunge and become an official member.

Aquarius (January 21-February 18)
Brace yourself for some frustration. Impetuous Mars and slowpoke Saturn are aligned in your ambitious tenth house making you feel like you have one foot on the gas and the other on the brakes. Although you may feel ready to dive in and get down to business, you could struggle to enlist others in this mission. Perhaps they need a little more convincing, Aquarius, so don’t get discouraged if yes isn’t the first answer you hear. Find out what people’s concerns are so you can speak directly to them.

Pisces (February 18-March 20)
Yes, Pisces, it’s possible to be “too honest”, so think before you blurt. Hotheaded Mars and conservative Saturn are locked in an awkward dance through Scorpio and your call-it-like-I-see-it ninth house. Translation? Your helpful advice could even come across as harsh or mean-spirited. Don’t hit people so hard with that truth hammer. If their actions are giving you pause, start by asking questions instead of making accusations. A travel plan could be stalled by Saturn, or you may have to reconfigure your itinerary if you made it in haste.