Thursday, October 31, 2013

November 2013 Burlesque Bitch Horoscopes

Aries (March 21-April 20) Blood is thicker than your wallet. Your generosity goes a long way. Weekend plans hang in the balance due to unforeseen clusterfucks. You might find yourself trying to unscrew and earlier screw-up. Keep a positive outlook, baby, and you'll come out smelling like roses.

Taurus (April 21-May 21) The workplace is not the best arena for meltdowns. Keep your image professional and clean. Think twice before going for brutal honesty with your beloved. At the same time, if you feel yourself crafting a gentle white lie, ask yourself why. A difficult choice looms later this month
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Gemini (May 23-June 20) This thing that's been nagging at the back of your mind finally makes it to the front of the class this month. You'll realize that some things are more subtle than others. Procrastination pays off immediately, but don't leave travel plans to the last minute. A strange coincidence throws a twist at your Friday.

Cancer (June 21-July 20) Play the tourist game in your own hometown and gain a new perspective on the world you live in. If you are looking for a job, this is a lucky time for change. Travel plans look promising, especially when unexpected cash comes flowing your way.

Leo (July 21-August 22) When love leaves you tied in knots, apply liberal amounts of honesty as a relaxer. What you discover in self-reflection can change your future and rock your world. A last-minute invitation sets the tone for the month.

Virgo (August 23-September 22) A sitch you couldn't tolerate a few months back is actually bearable now. If resentment is tearing a friendship apart, then it's time to talk things out. Be flexible with your weekend plans. Leave yourself in the hands of serendipity.

Libra (September 23-October 22) Use your tongue, lips, mouth and voice! You can put a stop to a bad situation by speaking up. After all, loved ones can't read your mind, and they need to know how you feel. There is never a better time to implement positive change.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21) Lend some cheer to a friend who is down in the dumps. Be kind and diplomatic, especially if you are cheering up an Aries. A new stage sets with a change at work. It's time to tidy up those career goals.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 20) The black sheep makes a move towards redemption. Be encouraging and don't stand in the way. Expect some flavor in your social calendar this month. Focus on all-over fitness of self; body, mind and spirit.

Capricorn (December 21-January 20) Sometimes the help you need at work isn't immediately at hand. Use that lovely voice of yours and speak up! Expect a high price tag on your love life this month. Nothing good comes easily. Long-awaited news finally delivers that final twist.

Aquarius (January 21-February 18) Spread yourself evenly over the course of the month, dearheart, lest you use up your mojo too soon. A coworker can unwittingly drag you down with their negativity. Keep it from happening and stay positive. Your daydreams are full of future changes.

Pisces (February 18-March 20) A family member shows you a new side you never knew existed. You'll wonder what else lies beneath. Your S/O needs some TLC. Let your fingers do the talking until you run all out of words.