Burlesque Bitch Horoscopes, February 2015

Aries March 21 - April 19

Who's up for a happily-ever-now? Love planet Venus slips into Pisces and your twelfth house of fantasy this month. Life could feel a lot like a fairy tale now, and you'll happily don the rose-colored glasses when it comes to romance. While you might not get the clearest glimpse of your amour, you'll certainly enjoy the sweet escape. If you've been hanging on to memories of an ex, now's the time to finish your mourning process so you can move on when Venus gets her groove on.

Taurus April 20 - May 20

How about a little levity for your love life? Romantic Venus changes signs, moving into Pisces and your social, fun-loving eleventh house. You could meet a mate through the introduction of a mutual friend or while you're out mingling. Already spoken for? Socializing as a couple helps you bond. You might even team up on a community-related project that helps affect positive change.

Gemini May 21 - June 20

You're generally lighthearted when it comes to love, but for the next month, you'll be in a more serious state of mind. Amorous Venus shifts into your goal-oriented tenth house. If a relationship doesn't seem to have a clear future, you'll want no part of it. But be careful, Gemini, as your ambitious angle could crush a fledgling connection before it has a chance to unfold.

Cancer June 21 - July 22

Romantic Venus changes signs, decamping to Pisces and your jet-setting ninth house until late this month. Love could arrive with a spicy accent or while you're off on holiday. Already coupled? A getaway a deux keeps the embers burning. Snuggling up at a ski-lodge or sharing the double-lounger at a tropical resort? Or pillow-fort on the couch with Netflix and take-out. Chase your heart.

Leo July 23 - August 22

Your mojo is officially out of winter hibernation — meow! Amorous Venus slips into Pisces and your eighth house of seduction until later this month. If you're not feeling the power of your purr, moving your body can help start your engines. Head to a dance class or just bust a move (clothing optional) in your own living room. Romance is best enjoyed behind closed doors during this four-week phase. Privacy please!

Virgo August 23 - September 22

Ready to make it official, Virgo? This month, love planet Venus swoops into your seventh house, bringing a relationship with staying power. Clear the decks of Tinder flings and ephemeral romances, creating space for lasting love to flow in. If you're already spoken for, this Venus phase will bring you closer. Get an official date night on the calendar and take turns surprising each other with plans. Socializing as a couple helps you bond.

Libra September 23 - October 22

Social, romantic Venus decamps to Pisces and your earthy sixth house until late this month. Get out and enjoy the winter wonderland with your amour, bunker down and read each other smutty poems, or head somewhere warm for adventures that need less clothing. This Venus phase sounds the call for body care too. Be nice to your body. It loves you, too.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21

Bring on the leopard print coat, sexy jumpsuits and shimmering metallics. With Venus cruising through your amorous, glamorous fifth house this month, you'll feel like dressing up and drawing stares once again. Playing for keeps is the Scorpio M.O. but you're not above a fling here and there. Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss: remember that should you pucker up for a player over the next three weeks.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

Kick off the go-go boots, slide on the marabou slippers. Venus sidles into your private fourth house for a month, hanging the Do Not Disturb sign on your bedroom door. You'll be less of a nomad and more of a nester this month. Surprise, surprise! Suddenly, the zodiac's bachelor(ette) is craving cozy and downright conventional closeness.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19

Flirt alert! This month, ardent Venus changes signs. This star-powered boost gives you serious game and a bit of a wandering eye. Coupled Caps, try to keep the rubbernecking in check when your partner is around. Variety is the spice of your love life for the next month. A road trip might be just the thing. Keep the itinerary flexible so you can pull off for a, uh, pit stop or two.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18

As the zodiac's bohemian, you have a modest appetite for luxury. But with beauty-loving Venus moving into your lavish second house this month, you'll feel a lot hungrier for life's finer things. Bring more sensual, stop-and-smell-the-roses vibes into your love life too; dress-up dinner dates, cocktails and canoodling at a jazz club, and satiny sheets and silver breakfast trays for luxuriating in bed with your boo.

Pisces February 19 - March 20

You're nobody's fool, Pisces. With romantic Venus entering your sign this month you'll have the courage to speak up for what you need. When Venus makes her annual stopover to Pisces, you are ultra magnetic. Don't let this time go to waste. Declare a zero tolerance policy for shifty game players. Coupled Fishies may also need to assert yourselves, and possibly enjoy a little more independence. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Burlesque Bitch Horoscopes, January 2015

Aries (March 21-April 20)
Your love life could take a major leap, Lana. The moon and Jupiter align, bringing a moment of truth that puts everything in perspective. You'll finally get a clear read on where people stand. This may finally be the day where the shackles come off, unbinding you from a truly unsatisfactory relationship. While it's hard to admit defeat, spinning your wheels while this person "figures things out" is hardly a fulfilling way to live. You never know Lovie, some people don't know what they've got 'til it's gone.

Taurus (April 21-May 21)
The Moon-Jupiter meetup in your home sector brings some lively fun to Chateau Taurus. Invite your motley crew of friends to gather 'round your hearth. Flex your epicurean skills and host a dinner party. This cosmic pairing could also bring a moment of truth with an important woman in your world. The two of you have not been seeing eye-to-eye, but rather than forcing a compromise, you might decide to create a little more distance and independence in your bond so that you can both flourish.

Gemini (May 23-June 20)
Fan those social butterfly wings. The moon and horizon-expanding Jupiter align in your third house of friendship, paving the way for some stellar networking. You're able to form deeper connections with your existing amigas too. Someone who has been hovering on the periphery of your inner circle could earn an all access pass to your affections. You might even team up to plan a winter gala, kick off a joint venture or help one another market your offerings via social media.

Cancer (June 21-July 20)
Keep on monitoring your spending this month, Duchess. With the moon and Jupiter aligned, the urge to splurge will be strong, but potentially regrettable. You're prone to making rash decisions so if you wind up plunking down any cash make sure you save the receipt and check the return policy. On the flip side, this cosmic confab could bring an out-of-the-blue earning opportunity, one that boosts your prosperity big time. With worldly Jupiter in the frame, this could involve work with a start-up or a gig that allows you to travel more often.

Leo (July 21-August 22)
No filters! The bold moon-Jupiter meetup in Leo gives you the green light to express yourself without an iota of censorship. Speak your truth, as it's probably on the tip of your tongue anyway. This might spark a lively debate, which, in turn, can illuminate some new insights about Numero Uno. Look within and be open to feedback. Simply saying, "I am who I am — take it or leave it" would be shortchanging yourself of a golden opportunity to grow. People are mirrors, after all, and can reflect back qualities that are in your blind spot.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)
With the moon and Jupiter aligned in your twelfth house, go on a complimenting spree, dole out the hugs and encouraging words. Helping out with kids, the elderly or doing charity work can also keep you from slipping into a pity party. You make a difference, Crystal, and once you remember that, your need for validation could slip away. A stroke of creative insight could come under this transit too. Keep paintbrush, guitar, or other artistic gear handy as the muse could lure you away from your desk or Netflix queue.

Libra (September 23-October 22)
Grab those gadgets, and keep them handy. Geek is chic today, as the moon and Jupiter align in your technophile zone. Would a new mobile device make your life easier and more efficient? Price it out and consider making the investment. Time is money, after all, and anything that does the thinking for you (apps especially) could be a game-changer. If your social networking pages need sprucing up, load better photos and update your personal information. Maybe you've wanted to queue up some blog posts or learn a new piece of software. This evening could find you repose on the couch with your laptop doing just that.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Let's hear it for the boys! The moon and expansive Jupiter align in your tenth house of men/manly ladies paving the way for breakthrough communication with the important guys/gals in your life. Planning a trip together could be just the thing — or an evening excursion to an unexplored part of town. This cosmic coupling could also find you obsessively working towards a career goal. You've got the vision in your crosshairs, Pamela. Now, nab the leading edge by taking a calculated risk. If the odds are even slightly in your favor, this is the day to leap.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 20) 
Lather, rinse, repeat? No way. Not today. Your innate wanderlust intensifies as jetsetting Jupiter (your celestial ruler) and the moon pair up in your ninth house of travel. Get out of town for the day. A change of scenery is always the magic elixir when your worldly sign gets stressed or bummed out. You could also travel in the figurative sense by diving into a book, watching a training video, or by pushing your body through a daring athletic adventure. Warning: you cannot tell a lie, not even a strategic fib. Embrace the moment of truth and let your feelings be known.

Capricorn (December 21-January 20)
Draw the drapes, Captain. The moon-Jupiter meetup could elicit some sultry and seductive experimentation. You're more capable of throwing caution to the wind today, especially when it comes to affairs of the heart — and pleasures of the flesh. If single, you could meet someone whose intensity lures you right in. (Get a room!) Coupled Caps, don't be afraid to own up to your anger. Healthy relationships aren't always conflict-free. Admitting that you're fired up about something could thaw the frosty vibes in your relationship — and heat things up in the bedroom once again.

Aquarius (January 21-February 18)
Bring on the adventure dates! With the moon and daring Jupiter aligned, the adrenaline junkie in you is craving companionship. Be it with a friend or a romantic interest, trying something new and exciting together will seal your bond. In love, the heart wants what it wants — and today, Jupiter will force you to be honest about that. Open up to your amour du jour. It will be such a relief to say those words out loud, even if that means letting the chips fall where they may.

Pisces (February 18-March 20)
Analysis paralysis alert. The moon-Jupiter meetup could exacerbate some worries. You might find yourself feeling anxious, even insecure. Get the facts before you tumble further down that rabbit hole, Katya. Consult an expert for soothing advice.  Exercise can help you blow off steam too, especially a lively group class. Photography can be meditative since the search for good subject matter forces you to be fully in the moment. Make your mantra for the day, "be here now."