Aries
(March 21-April 20) This is the kind of month where the shit hits
the fan and sprays the entire calendar. You get one mess cleaned up,
and then step in the next one. Hang in there, Honeysuckle, and keep
the hand sanitizer ready. All this will be over soon. Family life
goes well, and loved ones are available to hose you down and lift you
back up.
Taurus
(April 21-May 21) Don't blink, or you'll miss this month. That
project of yours takes up most of your time and focus, and it all
pays off once you finally get it knocked out. Take the time to
celebrate your successes and the opportunity for quality you-time.
Enjoy it while you can, because your phone will be blowing up soon
enough.
Gemini
(May 23-June 20) Baby don't blow up, no matter how much that
back-stabber deserves it. Keep your cool and gather the facts. You
might change your mind. A bestie needs your help and washes up on
your doorstep this month. Open up your home and your heart, and
goodness will flow.
Cancer
(June 21-July 20) Cop a squat and find your happy place, dollface,
because you'll need to keep your cool when shit gets cray-cray this
month. I see OT in your future, and plenty of fallout from your
family and loved ones who want all you got to give. Dissing Peter to
play Paul ain't going to cut it, so spread yourself as much as you
can, you limber minx.
Leo
(July 21-August 22) Strut your stuff, Kitten. Work goes well and
superiors acknowledge your awesome-sauce. Friends take you out to
thank you for being a great pal. That special someone finally gives
you a holler. Taurus and Cancer play important roles.
Virgo
(August 23-September 22) Work is tedious but rewarding this month.
Even the most mind-numbing tasks can allow you to show off your grand
talents. A close friend needs your support during an important time.
You might feel like a third wheel, but you are needed. Enjoy it,
even if no one notices.
Libra
(September 23-October 22) Don't let the bastards keep you down.
When things get too hectic, take a step back and collect your
thoughts in that pretty little head of yours. Retail therapy if you
must, but don't let yourself stay fixated on the frustration
plantation. When a loved one asks for help, do everything you can.
You are more than your net annual income.
Scorpio
(October 23-November 21) If only you could scream your safe word at
work. The boss keeps pushing and you keep grinding away. Don't get
frazzled, Lucy. You got this. An old friend hits you up out of the
blue and wants to get together. This is a perfect opportunity the
get out of work-mode and get off the hook, off the clock.
Sagittarius
(November 22-December 20) Everything is coming up roses this month,
hot stuff. Surprise bonuses, family love, support from your friends.
This is the time when the clouds part and you enjoy the sun. There
will be clouds and rain again, but for now, be content and gracious.
A friend introduces you to someone interesting.
Capricorn
(December 21-January 20) That stiff task at work was really hard.
(That's what she said.) But you finally finished it off, and it's
time to bask in the glory. (Also what she said.) Take a day off,
get an early start on your weekend, whatever it takes to embrace your
youness and get what you deserve. Your friends are ready to
celebrate with you.
Aquarius
(January 21-February 18) Avoid discouragement at work. This month
drags on, but it will be over before you know it. That co-worker you
don't really talk to has good advice to offer and will help you out
if you ask. That someone special throws you a curveball at the end
of the month. Don't freak out.
Pisces
(February 18-March 20) You may as well be wearing tights and a cape,
with how damn super you've been. Superiors notice your efforts at
work. Loved ones are amazed at your energy. Get as much done as you
can while this super-groove is flowing. Watch out for kryptonite and
take your powernaps when necessary.
