Thursday, February 28, 2013

March 2013 Burlesque Bitch Horoscopes



Aries (March 21-April 20) Teamwork isn't always your forte, Lois, but your workplace demands two to tango. Don't let frustration throw you off your game. Just work together to resolve the problem. March winds bring romance, and a friend of a friend reveals true feelings to you. Armored Scorpio has a part in all the loveplay.

Taurus (April 21-May 21) This month, it's best to keep your mouth shut when a friend in need comes to cry on your shoulder. Trust is always worth the investment. When it comes to your relationships, there is a decision to be made. Consider your position carefully and decide if you need to swap out for one easier on the knees.

Gemini (May 23-June 20) Find your zen and take it to work with you. You might have a few words to say about your boss, but it isn't worth spilling all over the floor. Take a look at yourself when it comes to your personal life. The wagons are circling and you don't seem to be included. Be cautious when making decisions.

Cancer (June 21-July 20) Your winning spirit is an inspiration, but don't throw yourself at a big work project until you are sure there are strong teammates to work with. However, do throw yourself into the ring for romance. Don't wait to see if that hottie across the room notices your demure smiles. Introduce yourself, (or sit on hottie's face, whichever approach you prefer.)

Leo (July 21-August 22) Someone needs a kittycat to sit in their lap this month and be reassuring. Sheathe the claws and warm up the purr-motor, but be honest. Later, find some expensive sunshine to roll around in. Spoil yourself. It's going to be a shitstorm at work, so you may as well enjoy yourself off the clock.

Virgo (August 23-September 22) While you may feel at your best in a solo act, this month working as a team will make things easier. Idea swapping and brainstorming can earn you some like-minded friends. Your loved ones will look to you to resolve a family matter. Wishywashy Aquarius is involved.

Libra (September 23-October 22) Seek harmony in the workplace this month. Avoid any sticky office disagreements and instead focus on the family crazy this month. As always, loved ones look to you for support and advice to ignore. Deep breath, Fiona. There is more than enough of your loving to go around and still leave enough for yourself.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21) Follow your instincts in the business world this month. Stick to the truth and don't embellish, for fear of backfire. As the month draws to a close, an old love will come wandering back into your life. Follow your heart, as long as you don't have to ignore your better judgment to do so.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 20) Truth is not what your bestie wants from you this month. But it's what she needs to hear. Don't get angry, it isn't really about you. Romance might slow to a crawl this month, but take heart. It's only a lull so you can take some me-time and regain your focus.

Capricorn (December 21-January 20) Now is your chance to shine at work. A leadership opportunity will open up this month and your intelligence and efficiency will shine through. Don't be shy when it comes to meeting new people this month. Your charm and confidence will endear you to someone with good connections.

Aquarius (January 21-February 18) Follow your more practical nature this month and fight those acquisition impulses. Finances are tight, as always, but you can be lean without being mean. New connections can still be forged in an long-standing relationship, and that sudden heat can turn everything into a party!

Pisces (February 18-March 20) Ease over to the slow lane, Bertha, because it's time to take it easy. Give yourself a break and arrange for a brief staycation with a loved one. Remind yourself that you make the decisions in your life. Virgo and Sagittarius play their parts, but it's still all about you.