Monday, April 1, 2013

Burlesque Bitch Horoscopes April 2013

Aries (March 21-April 20) Everyone wants a piece of you this month, darling. Your directness and ability to get straight to the point will serve you at work. As for romance, take the lead! When you express yourself to the right friends, they will reciprocate. Fuzzy Leo might take a stroll over your carefully made plans.


Taurus (April 21-May 21) Be your stubborn self this month, Sadie. Trust your intuition at work and defend the best solution against quick fixes. Recognition will follow. Your bestie might need you more this month than she's letting on. Be supportive and local.


Gemini (May 21-June 20) Go buy yourself a shiny hat, Carla. Your friends will need someone to look up to this month, and it may as well be you, and you may as well look fabulous. I know the leadership role isn't on your normal agenda, it is time for a shake up! Break the monotony, shift some paradigms, you know the drill.


Cancer (June21-July20) Try not to embrace the sign of the Crab too much this month. When everything makes you angry and putting on a pair of purple pants and Hulking out seems like the only option, do me a favor and chill out. Take your breaks away from the turmoil of your life, and if you can't catch any breaks, set traps.


Leo (July 21-August 22) Turn the other cheek, Bettie, and show us your softer side. Family affairs need attention, and friend maintenance should never be neglected. But mostly, be supple instead of rigid, especially with yourself. You are your biggest fan and worst critic.


Virgo (August 23-September 22) Moderation rules your finances this month. Be cautious, but not stingy. A close friend will be there for you when things look dark. Don't be afraid to take her into your confidence. She's got your best interests at heart.


Libra (September 23-October 22) Good work makes the hours spin by, and there is a lot of it coming your way. Be creative and efficient, have fun, but remember to take some personal time, too. Your enthusiasm is infectious and you should share it with your loved ones.


Scorpio (October 23-November 21) Love will take your life in a new direction. Instead of daydreaming about it, make it happen! If you can't get that certain someone out of your head, make the first move and you won't be disappointed. Cool Aquarius and horny Capricorn are involved.


Sagittarius (November 22-December 20) Everyone takes their lumps, and this month might just be that kind of gravy. Be brave and don't get discouraged, even when everything seems to go wrong. Lean on our family and friends for emotional support and you'll get through this just fine.


Capricorn (December 21-January 20) A dear friend will be the bright spot in your life this month. Loads will ease and joy will spring. The buzzing of politics and gossip can't get you down. Keep your zen, and this month will fly right by.


Aquarius (January 21-February 18) When superiors give you free reign over an important project, take your opportunity to shine. Take every opportunity for that matter, because one will lead to another this month. It's good to be anal and precise. Fishy Pisces is involved.


Pisces (February 18-March 20) Your compassion will be called on by loved ones this month, Mama. Take them in your arms, calm them down, and try to boost their spirits. A close friend will bring you good news at the end of the month. It will give you an optimistic outlook on life. 
 

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